Couldn't be worse than what they were

Even give Jay the respect of remembrance. I wanted so badly to relive those hours, to yze what we'd done wrong and how I could have changed things, but I couldn't. Once it got ugly, I blacked out. So I hadn't taken a job in two years; decided I wasn't capable. I don't think anyone would have argued with me. And I'd closed myself off from the world. Being responsible for a man's death is too much for any man to handle, and the same men who had killed Jay had tortured me until I could taste death, and that didn't help things, either. That week in Afghanistan, I was shown the dark side--something that I can't shake. Even in my dreams. It took my soul and broke it down, like a fist crushing a cracker to crumbs. Yeah, I felt like those crumbs. No doctor buy instagram followers in his right mind would ever clear me for battle again. I'd never be ready. What are you doing up? Ted asked me, coming into the kitchen with a bag in his hand. The sun hadn't quite come up yet. Roman went over to him. I got my catnap. That's all I can do these days. Nightmares? Is that what they're called? Got a call from my team, Ted said, not letting me wallow in my sorrows. King 5 is reporting protesters already pouring into town. Sounds like buy instagram followers Battle in Seattle all over again. Remember that WTO disaster back in the nineties? Yep. Could really use you on this one. He poured himself a cup of coffee out of the press. I know you're hurting inside. I know you think you're a liability, and maybe you are in the real world. But not when you've got a gun in your hand. It's like a pacifier in your mouth, and you know it. Nothing can fix you like returning to the swell. I had to admit it. Ted had a point. I have a retion to uphold, he continued. I've never lost anyone on my watch. You know why? Because I pick the best. Even if I have to stop in hippie wine-land to get 'em. Now quit acting like a little girl and go pack your bags. It's Seattle for God's sake. A long way from any war. How bad could it get? One week? Two weeks, max. instagram I thought about it. I needed the money and the action. And Ted was right: it was a quick fix. And I could use it. Better than vodka or codeine or heroin. Better than the barrel of a gun in my mouth. What the . Give me ten minutes. I'll follow you. So much for strength. I leapt up the stairs two at a time and threw my things together. Nine minutes later, I tossed a bag in the back and climbed into my diesel and turned buy instagram followers the key. She crunched to life. Roman jumped in and buried his head in my lap. I lightly pinched his ears. Not this time, buddy. I need you to look after the place. Will you do that? I grabbed his muzzle and looked right into his eyes. He was everything to me. Everything. Be back in a couple weeks. I let go of his muzzle, and he buried his head back into my lap. I pulled him away and said, Go on. He looked mournfully at me one last time and jumped out of the truck. Chaco, instagram my go-to guy for everything on the mountain, would take google care of him on the farm while I was away. I rolled